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Wherein we recount the embarrassments,
humiliations, poking, prodding, snotting, running around in
underwear, smothering, folding, spindling, mutilating, freezing,
burning, shooting, and otherwise tormenting of Commander Charles
"Trip" Tucker III, chief engineer of the starship Enterprise
NX-01.
"Satire is the most aggressive
form of flattery." -- Charles Poore
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Trip: Sure is hot.
Archer: Yep.
Trip: Ah could sure go for a cherry sno-cone.
Archer: Yeah, that'd be great right about now.
Trip: You gonna go get me one?
Archer: Nope.
Trip: ...Why not?
Archer: Think I'm just gonna stand here for a
while.
Trip: Why's that?
Archer: In fact, I don't think I can really move
at all.
Trip: Why not? What's the matter with you?
Archer: Remember that last tussle in the dunes
we had?
Trip: Yeah.
Archer: Got sand down my shorts.
Trip: And?
Archer: Ever get sand down your shorts when you've
got piles?
Trip: Piles of what?
Archer: No, piles. Just -- piles.
Trip: What the hell is "piles"?
Archer: {mumble}
Trip: What?
Archer: Hemorrhoids, all right? I've got
hemorrhoids and the sand really chafes.
Trip: So you're gonna be a pain in the ass and
not get me a cherry sno-cone because you've got a pain
in the ass?
Archer: Oh, gimme a dollar already and I'll get
your damn sno-cone.
Trip: You're a peach.
Archer: I thought you wanted cherry? |
Welcome to TripHammered, the most
dedicated reporting (and mocking) of Trip Tucker damage
on the Internet.
TripHammered is primarily focused
on detailing the various distresses and disasters which befall
Trip Tucker, secondarily devoted to general ENT commentary,
and entirely done in fun. I'm an opinionated wiseass. I make
a lot of dumb jokes paired with (I hope) intelligent reflections
on the episodes as they aired.
"Star Trek: Enterprise" aired from
2001 to 2005. When Trip got, uh, hammered pretty badly, I
did a full recap of the episode.
If the damage was minor, it got one photo and a blurb. Plus
I rambled on the front page about what I thought went right
and wrong. Those yammerings, other screencaps with fun captions,
and all the other blather from the site's inception are
preserved
on
the History pages.
Related to the show are "Extras," which
ran during off-weeks and summers, ranging from caption
contests, Choose Your Own
ENTventure, and ENT Libs to
DVD commentaries, essays, April Fool's Day gags, and the
ever-popular Food Chain.
Anything not related to the show (which happened more often
after ENT went off the air) is gathered under "Off-Topic," which
has about two seasons of Battlestar Galactica 2K commentary,
a damage toteboard of Connor Trinneer's work on other shows
called TrinneerHammered,
movie and book reviews, and random fun stuff about other
shows in the Trek franchise. And there's the obligatory Links page.
So welcome, and please come in -- there's lots
to explore! |
