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THE SHORT VERSION: Paramount owns
Star Trek and everything to do with it. I make no money off
this site; it's just for fun. For more details, read the long
version. Live long and prosper.
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Apparently straight women and bi/gay men, 18-54,
are a really desirable demographic
for ENT, because Trip's in his regulation tighty-bluesies
again. A foursome of Ferengi -- what is the proper collective
noun, anyway? A wallet of Ferengi? An ingot of Ferengi? A
3/1 ARM of Ferengi? -- have gassed the entire crew, and they're
busy looting the place. Trip's the only conscious one, having
been stuck in Decon when the gas was released, and after like
an hour he's getting exasperated. He comms Phlox to complain
that Buffy
is on at eight and could he be released already please, but
gets no response. The hell with that, he figures, and jimmies
the lock.
Once out in the open, however, he notices the
mass napping going on. After tapping
the back of his hand three times and peeking out a window
to make sure they're not in orbit around the planet
full of hostile sleeping aliens, he skitters over to Sickbay
and hides in the rafters. Ferengi are poking around, stealing
equipment and sticking their fingers into the Pyrithian bat's
cage. (She hates that.) Trip doesn't know who the guys with
the big ears are, but anyone who licks a scalpel is someone
to be wary of.
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After much silly back-and-forth and gratuitous
Archer-bashing, they set the captain to work carrying his
own stuff into the Ferengi ship. Trip catches up with him
between UPS runs. He tries to jimmy the cuffs too, but to
no avail. They plot briefly, and Trip goes off to anti-gas
T'Pol -- and immediately has to defend his honor and deshabille
from The Arched Eyebrow of Contempt. Trip and T'Pol go their
separate ways to set up Archer's plan to get the ship back.
Our boy finally finds a haberdashery locker and gets a jumpsuit
and some boots. Ratings after the commercial break sink a
few points.
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Back in the cargo bay, an incredibly mean sadistic
Ferengi puts Porthos into a cargo
container. Trip tries to distract the SOB long enough
to break Porthos out, but the jerk gives chase. Trip gets
his hand singed by Clint's phaser as he tries to open the
cargo bay door, but he's used to that -- it doesn't even slow
him down.
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They wrassle in the Mess Hall, where Trip bites
Clint's skanky ear (the Ferengi equivalent of a knee to the
family jewels), knocks him out with one solid punch, and steals
back the phaser. He shoulda kicked the scumbag a few times
too, just on principle, but I digress.
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Trip heads for the hallway but gets stopped
by Neelix. Without the Talaxian contacts, he's a better marksman,
and he shoots the phaser out of Trip's hand -- the same one
Clint nailed a few minutes ago. (Trinneer is really good at
the greenscreen weapons-fire reaction shots.)
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Neelix also has one of those floppy lightsaber
weapons which were supposed to make the Ferengi scary before
TPTB realized the race's comic potential, and whips our boy
into the carpet. Talk about rug burns.
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Trip is taken to where Archer is working in
the Ferengi cargo hold, and the two hoo-mans start the next
part of the plan, which is: catfight! No really. It was practically
hair-pulling and bitch-slapping. Whatever the reason, eventually
Trip gets the Ferengi to follow him out of their ship and
into the bowels of Enterprise, where he leads them
in circles for a while (gotta keep in shape for the next tighty-bluesies
episode) until they come to the ambush which Archer had Trip
create. Set
your entry grid, neutralize your field and the light is green,
the trap is clean. And Porthos is released safely.
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Photos: Soraya via ConnorTrinneer.com,
TrekConnection.com
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