Minor Contusions (Season Two)

Single photos from episodes which didn't have enough damage (or plot) to warrant a full page, and other miscellany.

Shockwave, Part II: Completely embarrasses himself in front of Starfleet brass, the Vulcan diplomatic contingent, and the entire bridge crew by losing his temper (and stepping out of line) and screaming at the Vulcan ambassador. Mind you, I didn't disagree with him, and the outburst and what he was yelling was in character, but the captain was talking to superior officers and diplomats -- he should have been reprimanded or possibly demoted for that. (Not to mention this photo is just hilarious.) T'Pol and Malcolm both get "TripHammered Get Well Cards" and Purple Hearts for injuries suffered in the line of duty. Any more of this and I'll have to launch "MalTreatment" and "T'Pole-axed."

Minefield: I gotta start up MalTreatment. Good grief. Trip gets artfully greasy and mussed, but no blood. Spends most of the episode very worried -- about Mal, Cap'n, and Enterprise. Pass the Mylanta.

Dead Stop: Drops the tidbit that he never got around to fixing the paint scrape from "Broken Bow." Chows down on catfish. Gets chewed out for snooping. Chews the ear off an alien computer. Why I am so hungry alluva sudden? (Some delicious butt shots in the first walk down the corridor.) Everyone except Trip gets artfully mussed.

Read the DVD commentary!

Marauders: Mostly dirt. Although the Recycled Rambo/Olivia Newton-John camo gear is pretty embarrassing. Gets artfully mussed again along with Archer, T'Pol, and Mal (who must be wearing Revlon Color Stay Overtime -- won't kiss off! or melt in the desert heat!). At least there was no heatstroke or word games involved this time.

The Seventh: Finds he has some difficulty fitting into that fourth pip for a day. Can't finish his specially-ordered farfalle pesto because he keeps getting interrupted. Worries briefly about Archer and T'Pol's safety, but winds up being more concerned about giving the crew the Titian Two-Step. On the plus side, he was just thrilled to pieces to be able to feed Mal and Phlox. It's all about food. He must be part Italian.

The Communicator: Let's give Trip a hand, since he seems to have misplaced his. Archer brushes him off another away mission and then gives him acida when Archer and Mal are taken prisoner. Gets blown across the shuttle bay by an explosion in the cell ship. Surprisingly undamaged in the mismatched firefight against the projectile weapons. This is getting to be Mal's season to get beaten up.

Singularity: Everyone takes a beating! Mal and Trip share a little fisticuffs on the bridge, Archer whaps them both upside the head, Trav nearly gets dissected, and the entire crew gets microwaved by OCD Particles™. T'Pol saves the day by making like Janeway and punching on through.

Read the DVD Commentary!

Vanishing Point: Smudged by ancient dust. Kidnapped and returned (off-screen), angst, remorse, and survivor's guilt, but we could probably write this entire thing off as an underdone bit of transported potato. He looked good on the hamster ball in the gym, though.

The Catwalk: Annoyed and kept awake by the alien visitors who shush him. Gets half a deadly radiation dose. Endures the brunt of Mal's PMS. (Pissy Malcolm Syndrome?) Has to share close quarters with 82 other Enterprise crewmembers and three aliens plus Porthos and assorted medical critters who haven't bathed in a week (but that's everyone). Slightly broiled catfish before T'Pol and Mal can turn off the warp engines.

Read the DVD Commentary!

Future Tense: Knocked out cold by a Suliban. Objecting that ye cannae change the laws of physics, he's completely flabbergasted to find he's got a hole in his pod. (Sorry, very obscure Yellow Submarine joke.) He and Mal find that Chef's Bean Burrito Surprise isn't the only thing repeating on them.

Read the DVD Commentary!

Cogenitor: Trip opens Pandora's box and gives fire to Prometheus, who then burns up like Icarus, to Trip's guilt and horror. Gets scolded by T'Pol and seriously chewed out twice by Archer. But the lectures pale in comparison; what's done cannot be undone.

Bounty: Clean phaser shot to the torso before the credits roll, which he ouches over later on. Scruffy and dirty in the teaser -- apparently he fell while hiking before the episode started.

The Expanse: Trip's baby sister is one of seven million dead. Grief and rage and survivor's guilt. Gets showered with sparks from exploding bridge consoles.

Sev Trek: Starring Trip (Twit) in his tighty-bluesies. I had a finalist punchline but I didn't win.

The Enterprise Quiz: A personality quiz. I came up as -- Trip! I'm not kidding! (When I took the TOS quiz, I came up as McCoy, so perhaps it's not so surprising.)

You're Charlie "Trip" Tucker. You stay down to earth no matter how far away from it you travel. You have a charm that always works to your advantage. When it comes to your friends, you're fiercely loyal almost to a fault. No matter what the situation, you've got the best lines out of anyone on Enterprise.

Brought to you by redanubis.

Art Asylum and Playmates Action Figures: Archer, Deluxe "Broken Bow" Malcolm, Away Team Trip; Mutated Tom Paris and his baby squiglets, Harry Kim and an 8472, and Tom Paris. Click on a photo for a larger image. I did eventually get the Trip-in-Starfleet-blues figure.

April Fool!: StarTrek.com put up this "Tuvix" spoof as their April Fool's Day headline image. Poor Trip. How many character names did they go through to arrive at that combination, I wonder? And if they were going to merge the two, why doesn't he have a tail?