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THE SHORT VERSION: Paramount owns
Star Trek and everything to do with it. I make no money off
this site; it's just for fun. For more details, read the long
version. Live long and prosper.
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Does taking a group photo like a tourist count
as "embarrassing"?
Archer sets down on a pretty little planet for
some exploration, and to give Porthos a chance to uncross
his legs. T'Pol, Ensign Redshirt, and Crewperson Cutler are
spending the night planetside, and Trip and Travis want to
play too.
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Around the evening campfire, Travis tells a
few dumb space
ghost stories which don't frighten or impress anyone (since
no one besides Travis is under 13). Strong winds start to
kick up. Everyone decides it's time for bed, and takes shelter
in the flimsy tents they brought down. A large gold CGI scorpion,
which isn't any fonder of the wind than the away team, tries
to hide in Trip's sleeping bag, scaring the bejeebers out
of him (although it doesn't actually sting him).
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 The
wind is fierce enough to send everyone out of the tents and
into a handy cave. One by one the humans all start to get
jittery, seeing people who mysteriously vanish into the walls
and hearing muffled voices. T'Pol denies seeing or hearing
anything. She does, however, forget her English and start
talking in Vulcan. Trip becomes increasingly frightened and
angry. He holds a weapon on her and accuses her of collaborating
with the peekaboo "rock people," threatening to phaser her
in half if she doesn't 'fess up and tell everyone what's going
on in Standard.
Proving that you don't have to be on Omicron
Ceti III to get spored, Phlox figures out that pollen
from local flora is causing paranoid hallucinations. Archer
tries to talk Trip down from the bell tower, but the engineer
keeps screaming that T'Pol's tricorder display is flashing
"KILL 'EM, KILL 'EM ALL" and he's not going to let his crew
or Enterprise end up in the Vulcans' saucepan.
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Archer eventually gets tired of the X-Files
rerun and makes up a story just believable enough to trick
Trip into lowering his weapon. T'Pol stuns him before inoculating
everyone with the pollen antidote.
When dawn breaks, Trip swallows warm crow along
with the cold pizza and acknowledges that he was being a jerk,
although he never quite actually apologizes for his ranting.
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