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Minor Abrasions (Season One)

Single photos from episodes which didn't have enough damage (or plot) to warrant a full page, and other miscellany.

Broken Bow: Trip actually gets off lightly in the pilot; he doesn't have to sit on the couch slack-jawed in astonishment while listening to that THEME SONG for the first time. The infamous Decon Gel Scene is primarily painful for the audience. (Although now we know that the Starship Tucker is a dreadnought -- why yes, that is a third nacelle!) Kidnapped by Suliban, although not roughed up, and then caught in Suliban crossfire. Shimmy- Shimmy- Shakin' Shuttlepod. Insulted repeatedly by T'Pol. Minor Klingon Fu.

The Andorian Incident: Gets skeeved by Vulcan mummies and cobwebs. Brief but moderate Andorian Fu.

Breaking the Ice: They could have called it "Breaking Wind," but that's about the only embarrassment Trip doesn't have to suffer. Our boy obligates himself to read a very personal letter for T'Pol and then busts himself for it, gets stuck with the "poop question" from his nephew's fourth-grade class, and for a grand finale squirms through a "birds and the sehlats" Vulcan cultural exchange.

Silent Enemy: Cap'n doubts his team's ability to do as well as Jupiter Station's boys. Reed pisses him off by making risky modifications without getting permission first. More like "Sulky Front." Okay, that's probably stretching. But it's a good excuse for a photo.

Cold Front: Watches Crewman Daniels get painfully FOOMed. I consider that at beat emotional trauma, whether he liked the guy or not.

Shadows of P'Jem: Archer dangles a visit to a Coridan shipyard in front of him like a steak, then takes T'Pol. Gets hung up on twice. Kidnapped and tied up briefly. Minor Andorian Fu. Gets caught in Andorian-Vulcan-Coridan shoot-em-up.

Rogue Planet: Has to listen to Archer recite mediocre poetry and drool over a shapeshifter who looks like she (it?) was auditioning for an Herbal Essences shampoo commercial. And didn't get the job.

Oasis: Saved from a finger-toasting by a Kesalike, but then discovers her family is kind of light-headed.

Fallen Hero: Five stars for humiliation this week. T'Pol recommends that Trip (and the rest of the crew) need to get some action. When he shows up on the bridge in a Hawaiian Shirt Friday ensemble, she explains she didn't mean "lei'd." Archer seconds the original implication. At dinner, Trip is inadvertently rude to a visiting Vulcan diplomat, and she teasingly scolds him. The Chief Engineer then panics when asked to get the wimpy-ass engines up to a screaming Warp Five. Good thing Scotty's not born yet, or this would have killed him.

Shockwave: Another Shimmy-Shimmy-Shakin' Shuttlepod and a mild concussion, both in the teaser, but he's up and griping shortly after the credits finish rolling.

MAD magazine: August 2002, Issue #420. The parody is called "Endless-Prize," drawn by Mort Drucker. They also mislabeled Travis as a lieutenant, which was funnier than most of the article.

Sev Trek: Enterforaprize: John Cook's peerless parody of science fiction, fantasy, TV, movies, roommates, marriage, kids, and whatever else crosses his mind Down Under. Trip's character is "Chuckles 'Twit' Chucker."

Photos: StarTrek.com, Joanna Brandt via Trekpulse, STrekOnline, TrekConnection.com, MAD magazine, SevTrek.com. Photo composition from "Broken Bow" by Moogie.