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Picard: Polishes his head.
Data: Works on a painting of Spot.
Becomes obsessed with getting a "life-like glint" in
the cat's eyes. His hands become completely gummed with latex
paint and thinner as he repeatedly paints and strips the
canvas.
LaForge: Sees a sensor ghost in his
VISOR. Takes it apart down to its component screws and circuits,
then tries to reduce it to subatomic particles.
Worf: Has a hissy fit. Resigns from
Starfleet. Has a crisis of conscience. Returns to Starfleet.
Has a hissy fit...
Q: Kills Wesley and then brings him
back to life so he can kill him again.
Dr. Crusher: Screams "Oh my god! You killed Wesley! You omnipotent
bastard!"
Bashir and O'Brien: Dig up mounds of
research so they can recreate the Alamo in perfect scale
and historical accuracy. Wind up in a huge fight about Santa
Ana's hat.
Quark: Counts his latinum. Well, actually,
how would we know if he were affected?
Odo: Tries to morph into every element
in the periodic table. Gets hung up on the noble gases.
Dax: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Janeway: "Coffee. Black. No, 47
cups isn't too many. I like coffee, dammit!"
Torres: "Helm Boy. My upper workstation.
NOW."
Paris: "Yes MA'AM!"
Holodoc: Keeps trying for the definitive
rendition of Wagner's "Ring Cycle." Misses a note
about a third of the way through and has to start over.
Kim: "These equations can get us
home. I mean it. Just one more variable. I'm gonna do it.
This is going to make transwarp work. We're going right across
the quadrant. Just one more algorithim. I'll be home by dinner."
Seven: Oh, wait, they did that episode;
it was called "The Voyager Conspiracy."
Kirk: Oh, wait, they did that episode
too. Something about a cloud.
Scotty: realigns the dilithium crystals
in an effort to increase engine efficiency. Then realigns
all the workstation chairs. Then all the knobs and dials.
Then he starts unscrewing the bolts holding the warp core
to the floor so he can align that...
McCoy: works on the perfect mint julep.
Although after about the tenth try, he doesn't particularly
care if he gets it right or not.
Brannon Braga: "WOW, my girlfriend
has big breasts, pouty lips, and a tiny waist. Wouldn't that
be a great character for a 'Star Trek' spinoff?"
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