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 CURRICULUM
VITAE
Lineage ID? I was born
free to a woman of Vulcan.
Current name? T'Pol
Aliases? I believe some of the crew
refer to me as "the Captain's Pet." As this was
in connection with Captain Forrest, I had no objection. His
influence spared me some small measure of abuse.
Rank? I held the rank of Commander
under Captain Forrest, but when Enterprise was destroyed
and Archer took command of the Defiant, he reduced my rank
to Lieutenant Commander.
Current primary enemy? Archer
Current secondary enemy? Sato
Number of years you've survived? 67
Number of battles won? The only important
"battle" is the one to stay alive. So far I have
been successful.
Pets? None
Height? 1.7018m
Eye color? Brown
Hair color? Light brown
Piercings? Piercings are a barbaric
human custom. Although I was given a pair of pierced earrings
which I was told would look good with my ears.
Tattoos? Another barbaric human custom.
Approximately fifty human years ago, Vulcans were routinely
captured and enslaved by the Empire, and branded as property.
Scars? A few on my back from floggings.
Any major body parts missing or supplemented
with a prosthetic? Not at present.
How much do you love the Empire? Vulcans
do not love. In the Empire, non-humans have limited rights,
which can be revoked at any time by their employers or commanding
officers. Only humans may be Imperial citizens.
Current ship? Vulcans do not have ships.
Yet.
How many people did you have remove to
get there? I met one of Captain Sussman's assistants
while I was forcibly enrolled in an Earth science academy,
and
he had me assigned to his ship as his junior science officer.
My service has been traded to several commands as I have
learned more about the human sciences and various other ships'
functions.
Next ship? Wherever Archer takes me,
unless I am killed first.
PREFERENCES
Very tight pants or miniskirts? Vulcan
robes
Leather, Kevlar, or armor? Armor is
too heavy for daily wear. A small piece of leather under
the cloth of my uniform provides some protection against
floggings. Kevlar is versatile, but in order to be efficient,
it must be sufficiently thick, which does not permit it to
be
worn beneath my clothing.
Whisky or ale? I have tasted both,
but do not drink either regularly. Of the two, I preferred
the whisky.
Rare wines and exotic delicacies captured
from passing vessels in the name of the Empire, or haunch
of targ with rotgut from the still in Engineering? Captain
Forrest provided me with a case of red wine after a successful
encounter with a pirate ship. We enjoyed a glass every so
often.
Coffee or Jolt? Neither.
Food or sex? Doesn't sex always involve
eating food?
Do you enjoy devising your own interrogations
or do you savor watching someone else do the tough extractions?
That is a human pastime, not Vulcan.
Knife blade: serrated, hook, or poisoned?
Such knives are barbaric human weapons. A neck pinch is less
messy.
Gold or silver? I have received a pair
of silver earrings which are handcrafted and aesthetically
pleasing. However, in order to wear them, I would have to
create holes of scar tissue in my earlobes, which I am unwilling
to do.
Bridges or tunnels? Bridges
Growl, shout, or hiss? A glare
Coliseum or torture chamber? I don't
enjoy watching others suffer. Except Archer and Sato. The
torture chamber has its use.
Vulcans: mostly useful minions or servants
who are too intelligent for their own good? {glares}
Ion storms: Cool or scary? Unsafe.
Vlad the Impaler or Niccoló Machiavelli?
Who?
Lucrezia Borgia or Countess Bathory?
Who?
Colonel Green or Khan? Oh, successful
males. Neither.
Sauron or Voldemort? I deduce these
are more successful males.
Beatles or Stones? Insects or minerals?
Why would I have a preference?
Daggers or swords? A dagger is useful
when more than a neck pinch is required, and can be easily
concealed.
Mac, PC, or Unix? More successful males?
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE...
Pizza topping? I find the combination
of cheese and mushrooms acceptable.
Dessert? Although Vulcans do not eat
dessert, I find fruit tarts to my taste.
Energy weapon? I have found plasma shotguns
provide acceptable protection when boarding unknown alien
ships.
Training film? "How to Disable
an Opponent In Three Strikes"
Monitoring device? Mind melds
Method of keeping your underlings in line?
Depending upon the underling, either sex or a glare.
Place to be kissed? My quarters
Imperial holiday? {glares}
Book? The Delusions of Surak,
although I recently discovered the existence of an unedited,
pre-Empire edition called The
Teachings of Surak. I have made some contacts so I may
attempt to secure a copy of this work.
James Bond villain? {rolls eyes}
Quote? "Infinite diversity in infinite
combination."
Word or phrase? "Live long and
prosper."
Website? The Syrranites Connection
Least favorite thing? Floggings, although
I understand the new torture chamber devised by Major Reed
is unpleasant as well.
RANDOM PERSONAL QUESTIONS
How many weapons do you carry on your person,
approximately? Two
How old were you when you committed your
first assassination? 35
How many times has someone attempted to assassinate
you? This has not been a great problem in the past, as
I have endeavored to make myself as valuable as possible to
my respective commanding officers to earn their protection
from ambitious or jealous human crewmembers. However, I do
not think Captain Archer places much value upon my knowledge
or skills. I believe Sato is going to make an attempt upon
my life soon.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Dead
What do you look for in a partner? Someone
who can have sex without involving food in the process.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
Free
What characteristics do you despise?
greed
How do you express anger? I raise an
eyebrow. Sometimes I use an elbow to the ribs or a knee to
the groin.
Would you rather die or become a bureaucrat?
Die
What was your most satisfying revenge?
I haven't achieved it, but I do have plans for Archer and
Sato and the transporter.
Last person you went to dinner with? Pleasure
or business? Culminated in sex or death? Tucker. Business.
Sex. Among other things.
Last crony whom you rewarded for a nasty
job well-done? Tucker. Although I do not know if he would
recognize his "reward."
Ever been a "Captain's Woman"
or "Captain's Man"? No
RANDOM QUESTIONS
Had the drink Calypso Breeze? No
Any superstitions? Vulcans do not have
superstitions, but I find that I have developed the habit
of crossing my fingers when I need to a plan to succeed.
First thing you think of when you wake up?
What traps need to be avoided throughout the day.
What's on your mouse pad? I do not understand
the question.
What's under your bed? A food-storage
bin.
How many people did you have to bribe to
get into Imperial service? While I have not paid any
monies for assignments, given the typical operation of Imperial
service, it is logical to assume that bribes have been paid
regarding my service and to whom.
What Academy subject is completely useless?
Diplomacy
What was the last book you read? Frankenstein,
a human novel. I also shared a few pages of Surak with Tucker,
but I am not sure whether he grasped what I was trying to
tell him.
Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
I have never attempted to do such a thing.
Can you roll your tongue? I have never
attempted to do such a thing.
Hobbies? The combination of mind melding
and sex can be stimulating.
Should supervillains have capes? I believe
Tucker has some comic books in his quarters. After our next
encounter, while he is recuperating, I will attempt to study
them so I may form an opinion.
Which single store would you choose to
extort tribute from? The Triaxian Silk Warehouse.
The material is aesthetically pleasing, and the Trixians
are well-known for grossly overcharging their legitimate
customers.
Greatest pet peeve? Crumbs in the bed.
Best thing in the world? In the real
world, sex. In an ideal world, no fear.
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest
of them all? I believe this is a reference to a human
children's story which Tucker told me about on one occasion
after consuming too much of the alcohol which he brews in
the back of Engineering. Only humans indulge their vanities
by gazing at their own reflections with admiration.
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