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 CURRICULUM
VITAE
Lineage ID? As a valued member of the
Empire, I have been rewarded with the designation, Phlox,
of the first house of Phlox.
Current name? Phlox
Aliases? I've been called "Dr.
Doolittle" because of my affinity for animals. Everyone
is always intrigued by my menagerie. It saddens me when it
gets depleted. But fortunately I know how to restock it!
Rank? Doctor, of course.
Current primary enemy? I'm a loyal servant
of the Empire, dedicated to our Emperor. Why would I have
enemies?
Current secondary enemy? N/A
Number of years you've survived? 135
human years
Number of battles won? I'm a fortunate
man -- all my captains have been successful, and therefore
all our battles won.
Pets? Oh, the choice! Bats, I'll say
bats.
Height? 1.72728m, or "knee-high
to a srothrar," as my fifth grandmother used to say.
Eye color? Blue-white
Hair color? Dark brown
Piercings? I've experimented a bit,
so I have had various piercings on and off.
Tattoos? I've tried a few. Some I didn't
like and I have become very efficient at removing those that
are not successful.
Scars? May I show you?! First, here
is... not now? Well, then, I'll show you later. And I have
tales to tell for each!
Any major body parts missing or supplemented
with a prosthetic? Later -- I'll give you all the delicious
details when I show you my scars.
How much do you love the Empire? I
have a comfortable existence as a doctor in the Empire --
the Emperor
has a fondness for Denobulans and we are treated well. And
I do envy the Denobulans who have pleased the Emperor and
therefore have acquired a few concubines as thanks. Someday,
someday!
Current ship? Enterprise and
the Defiant
How many people did you have remove to get
there? None. My excellent work speaks for itself. I'm
sought after -- I don't conspire!
Next ship? Wherever I may best serve
the Empire and her Emperor (or Empress, if it comes to that).
PREFERENCES
Very tight pants or miniskirts? Neither
is very practical for a doctor. Black leather is better at
repelling and concealing blood.
Leather, Kevlar, or armor? I love the
feel of buttery soft leather -- there's something about the
flesh from a living organism which no synthetic can duplicate.
Whisky or ale? I love a party! Whatever
is being served!
Rare wines and exotic delicacies captured
from passing vessels in the name of the Empire, or haunch
of targ with rotgut from the still in Engineering? Oh,
my, it is all too good! All of it!
Coffee or Jolt? Both are delightful.
Add some chocolate-covered espresso beans and you've got yourself
a two-day buzz -- perfect for a long surgery.
Food or sex? You humans and your need
to choose! Denobulan women are masters at combining both.
Do you enjoy devising your own interrogations
or do you savor watching someone else do the tough extractions?
Oh, my own, my own. Interrogations are both an art and
a science.
Knife blade: serrated, hook, or poisoned?
Please, stop limiting yourself! Open yourself up to using
more than one implement.
Gold or silver? {shakes head}
Both!
Bridges or tunnels? Both hold many wonders.
Growl, shout, or hiss? I have these
and many more in my repertoire, including sounds human ears
can't even detect. I can fit an appropriate response to any
situation!
Coliseum or torture chamber? Another
impossible choice. The battle of two equal yet dissimilar
combatants or the wonders of seeing how much a member of
a species can resist pain. Both, fortunately, are marvelous
to dissect! But, alas, I cannot choose.
Vulcans: mostly useful minions or servants
who are too intelligent for their own good? They are a
bit stodgy -- even more so than humans -- but worthy allies.
They are fascinating anatomically, I must say. Those ears
are... well, they provide a lot of insight into that species.
Ion storms: Cool or scary? Exhilarating!
Vlad the Impaler or Niccoló Machiavelli?
Oh, Vlad, Vlad! A man who savored life, and didn't mentally
dissect it!
Lucrezia Borgia or Countess Bathory?
Bathory!
Colonel Green or Khan? Both are worthy
models.
Sauron or Voldemort? I believe these
are figures from children's literature? Not something I've
had time to explore, unfortunately.
Beatles or Stones? Who can resist Keith
Richards, the walking corpse?
Daggers or swords? I don't fight --
I'm a doctor, not a soldier!
Mac, PC, or Unix? Variety makes
all systems useful.
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE...
Pizza topping? the works.
Dessert? Whatever is the special of
the day.
Energy weapon? I don't use weapons.
Training film? Dissection Styles
in 571 Worlds -- Best Practices
Monitoring device? I love to chat with
everyone -- you can learn a lot if you listen.
Method of keeping your underlings in line?
I have no underlings.
Place to be kissed? Everywhere!
Imperial holiday? The Right of Fertility
Day
Book? The Hitchhiker's Guide to Alien
Anatomy. What a journey that volume takes one on!
James Bond villain? Goldfinger and his
laser
Quote? Of course it is "Inventas
vitam iuvat excoluisse per artes!" (Let us improve life
through science and art.)
Word or phrase? Optimism!
Website? The Imperial Medical Exchange
has some restricted-access bulletin boards where I can usually
find what I'm looking for if I'm truly stumped.
Least favorite thing? When I deplete
my menagerie. Dissection requires constant practice to stay
at top form.
RANDOM PERSONAL QUESTIONS
How many weapons do you carry on your person,
approximately? None. Scalpels don't count, do they?
How old were you when you committed your
first assassination? Doctors do not assassinate. Each
death is carefully documented and analyzed. We aren't barbarians,
you know.
How many times has someone attempted to assassinate
you? None! Who would want to? I'm a doctor.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
Oh, much, much more knowledgeable about the anatomy of various
species.
What do you look for in a partner? Someone
who appreciates good sex, good food, and lots of variety.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
A doctor.
What characteristics do you despise?
Squeamishness.
How do you express anger? I don't get
angry.
Would you rather die or become a bureaucrat?
Everyone is a bureaucrat on some level. It's part of life.
What was your most satisfying revenge?
I don't seek revenge. I've outlived everyone who's objected
to my methodologies so far.
Last person you went to dinner with? Pleasure
or business? Culminated in sex or death? I don't mix business
and pleasure. A dinner of pleasure ends in sex, and a business
dinner ends in death. It's so simple.
Last crony whom you rewarded for a nasty
job well-done? Please!
Ever been a "Captain's Woman"
or "Captain's Man"? Never!
RANDOM QUESTIONS
Had the drink Calypso Breeze? Ah, the
delights of human culture! Yes!
Any superstitions? I don't clean my
tongue until the eighth day after passing within 10 light
years of a black hole.
First thing you think of when you wake up?
Another glorious day!
What's on your mouse pad? A smiley face.
Yes, I know, very late-20th-century-Terra, but it is an icon
worth preserving!
What's under your bed? Oh, so many treasures!
How many people did you have to bribe to
get into Imperial service? None. I'm a valued doctor!
What Academy subject is completely useless?
Nothing is useless.
What was the last book you read? Let
me think...ah! It was either the deliciously erotic prose
of Gloria Steinem,
or the frankly bawdy, lusty tales of Ann Coulter. Both are
well represented in my personal library!
Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
Not only my nose, but also my eyes, ears, and nape! The
Denobulan tongue is very versatile.
Can you roll your tongue? Like a carpet.
Hobbies? Many! Everything interests
me. Body parts, internal organs, secretions, droppings, fluids...
Should supervillains have capes? Actually,
everyone should have a cape. What a fashion statement! We
have become too staid in our sartorial choices.
Which single store would you choose to extort
tribute from? I think I'm just going to load up the instruments
from Defiant's sickbay if I'm transferred elsewhere.
Greatest pet peeve? The somewhat inadequate
medical equipment on Enterprise. However, I will admit,
until I was on the Defiant, I was in blissful ignorance.
Now, having sampled those superior facilities, I don't know
that I can go back!
Best thing in the world? The universe!
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the fairest
of them all? This Denobulan doctor, for one!
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