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Episode

Meal

Season 1

Broken Bow

The very first dinner at the Cap'n's table. T'Pol makes a point about Vulcans not touching their food, which, oddly, no other Vulcan we ever see has an issue with. I'm not counting the girls and the butterflies.

Fight or Flight

Trip and Phlox have resequenced potatoes. Cap'n has his big epiphany fit over dinner.

Strange New World

Opens in the Mess Hall where Cutler has soup (plomeek?) among many other noshing crewmates. Silent Trav has to rescue foodpacks.

Unexpected

T'Pol kvetches to Phlox about human food over plomeek soup; Phlox tells her to try his antioxidant-filled blueberry pancakes. The Xyrillian ship grows food on the walls. Trip samples some Xyrillian Knox blox. Mal discovers Trip's new nipple over lunch. Trip and X'Sprog pig out at the Cap'n's table and grab some breadsticks for the road. Denouement and exchange of insults at Cap'n's table.

Terra Nova

Exposition and denouement at Cap'n's table. Mal eats "Digger" meat on a dare and an empty stomach.

The Andorian Incident

Phlox and T'Pol share salad.

Breaking the Ice

Painfully awkward dinner with the Vulcan captain. ("Please let me know if there's some other way we can screw up tonight?") Exposition for Trip's wee nephew's class of what the crew eats (and what happens to what they eat when they're done digesting it). Trip has milk, T'Pol has green tea. And they both have pecan pie! (Which dessert really needs French vanilla ice cream on it, just for balance.)

Civilization

Cap'n, T'Pol, and Alien Chick of the Week share tea. It keeps the streak going; I'll take it.

Fortunate Son

Silent Trav shows off Enterprise's automat to a fellow cargo boomer.

Cold Front

Crewman Daniels comes out over breakfast at the Cap'n's table. The monks give Trip some Agosorian Ale. Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres follow.

Silent Enemy

Food is the focus of the B-plot, as in "finding Mal's favorite." Turns out to be pineapple. Also on the menu are ravioli, enchiladas, fish, eggs, pancakes with peanut butter (my father liked omelets with peanut butter... sigh), sausage, bacon, beer, and the introduction of pan-fried catfish.

Dear Doctor

Phlox invites Mal to join him at dinner but misses, but snags Cap'n for a tryptophan nightcap. Porthos suffers from cheese-related intestinal distress. Popcorn at Movie Night. The Menk share their grub with Hoshi, Phlox, and Cutler.

Sleeping Dogs

Klingon kitchen with lots of K'Food lying (and wriggling) around. Some nasty neurotoxin in the Xarantine ale which the Klingons stole. Live gagh and targ on the hoof. (Or paw. Or whatever.)

Shadows of P'Jem

Dinner at the Cap'n's table. Phlox and T'Pol have dinner again. Cap'n pretends to be the steward. Emergency communicator at the bottom of the bowl of prison oatmeal. (Now there's a reward for cleaning your plate.) Andorian ale (might be the first mention thereof).

Shuttlepod One

Food figures into the A-plot, actually. Chilean sea bass for Mal and meatloaf with Sealant potatoes for Trip. Plus the Cap'n's bourbon.

Fusion

Dinner at the Cap'n's table with excitable Vulcans, who later ask if it's true that Terrans eat six times a day. ("Only the Italians," Trip explains.) T'Pol has mint tea for her nerves. The excitable Vulcans ask for Chef's Chicken Marsala recipe. Sports and sex discussed over lunch. (Sounds like my office.)

Rogue Planet

Cap'n, T'Pol, Mal, and Trip toast hotdogs and make s'mores by the campfire with Eskan hunters. Cap'n bores Trip with poetry over a glass of milk in the Mess Hall.

Acquisition

Cap'n manages to get the only sandwich the Ferengi didn't lift from the automat: fried baloney, peanut butter, and onion.

Oasis

Cap'n, Trip, and AOTW have a Chinese Hot Mustard contest over dinner, which T'Pol declines to join. ACOTW brings Trip some dinner; in exchange, he gallantly introduces her to five different flavors of ice cream.

Detained

Prison rations. (Seems the only thing prisoners ever get from their guards is oatmeal. Is high cholesterol a raging problem in jails across the quadrant?) Cap'n and Silent Trav have non-prison-rations dinner with non-shapeshifting Suliban.

Vox Sola

Food has a minor but pivotal role, as the Kreetassans get pissed off by watching the crew eat publicly. Trip tries to cheer up a sulking Cap'n with a menu, but the only thing which works is beer and pretzels while watching water polo. Mal, Hoshi, and Silent Trav have dinner before Movie Night popcorn.

Fallen Hero

T'Pol talks sex over dinner at the Cap'n's table. A second dinner at the Cap'n's table with V'Lar. V'Lar and Hoshi share iced tea in the Mess Hall.

Desert Crossing

Essence of the male in blood soup! Plus the teracaq roast and whatever else was on Zobral's table. Fried chicken analogy. Cap'n gets Trip to think up a dream meal (prime rib, mashed potatoes with mushroom gravy, broccoli, pecan pie). Cherry sno-cone envy. Trip whines about having had to eat Australian snake meat.

Two Days and Two Nights

Trip and Mal get drinks with fruit in them. Hoshi has dinner alone in the midst of other diners until her two-night stand joins her, then shares some fruit with him later. Cap'n has one lunch by himself and dinner offscreen with Mystery Bitch. He cracks open a bottle of wine for her, and she tries to crack open his skull.

Shockwave

Dinner at the Cap'n's table. Cap'n relives a breakfast invitation from Trip from many moons ago. Hoshi is forbidden from giving Porthos any more Brie.

Season 2

Shockwave, Part II

Daniels points to the diner where he had breakfast ten minutes and an alternate universe ago.

Carbon Creek

The entire episode is framed by dinner at the Cap'n's table. The stranded Vulcans run out of ration bars and briefly consider hunting and roasting Bambi over an open fire with Eskan s'mores. One of the Vulcans resorts to pool-sharking to buy armloads of groceries.

Minefield

Mal has breakfast at the Cap'n's table. Actually, he was so nervous I'm not sure he even ate anything, poor sod.

Dead Stop

The famed catfish scene. Trip seduces Mal over lunch. Into exploring the station, I mean. Hoshi and Silent Trav have lunch in the background. Hoshi later alleges Silent Trav played a joke on her with strawberry jello, but Trav doesn't speak up to defend himself (being played by a corpse at the time).

A Night in Sickbay

Phlox feeds his toenail clippings to one of his medical pets, and Purina Medical Pet Chow to the rest of the menagerie. Something drips on him, and he tastes it with that ninety-yard tongue of his. T'Pol brings TV dinners down to Sickbay. Cap'n takes the time for eggs before bothering to check on Porthos. I hate this episode more every time I have to think about it.

Marauders

Desert rugrat brings Trip some water. It's a desert; that's important enough to count. wombat61 points out Archer's "teach a man to fish" proverb. (On a desert planet? Does the guy know what a fish IS?)

The Seventh

Cap'n offers T'Pol some of his breakfast toast. A whole buncha aliens drinking (which usually means bar munchies). Farfalle pesto for Trip, bangers and mash for Mal, and Denobulan sausage for Phlox, plus Yuengling Black and Tan.

The Communicator

Cap'n and Mal get the local ale at the Tavern of Lost Technology, where there are definitely other folks eating and drinking. Silent Trav thinks Trip could use a cloaked arm to steal popcorn during Movie Night.

Singularity

One of the plot threads is Hoshi's quest for the perfect oden, for which she demands "CARROTS!" at the top of her lungs. Trip cleans his plate; Mal says "it's a little salty." T'Pol tries to sober up Cap'n with coffee. (It's not espresso; she has no hope.) Chef's planned meal was fried chicken, scalloped potatoes, and orange spinach. T'Pol requests plomeek soup. (Plomeek soup: it's not just for breakfast any more.) Hoshi tells Cap'n to make himself a sandwich. gamebandit reminds us that Cap'n shrills that he doesn't care if his chair can serve him iced tea.

Vanishing Point

Delightful lunch with the boys, even if it's all Hoshi's imagination. Less than delightful lunch with T'Pol.

Precious Cargo

Dinnerus interruptus at the Cap'n's table with raisin-faced aliens. (ooh! a twofer.) Emergency pemmican in the alien escape pod. Boiled swamp water for drinking.

The Catwalk

Senior staff plays poker with freeze-dried food packets. Chef dumps a hot MRE into Mal's lap. Aliens try to barbecue over a plasma manifold. Firefight in the galley.

Dawn

Trip yaks up Jerry's grog; Jerry yaks up Trip's Clif Bars. Chef makes Chicken Marsala.

Stigma

The Phloxes have lunch with Cap'n (offscreen). Cap'n has breakfast with T'Pol, then muses that the Vulcan HMO isn't coming up for coffee and donuts. Lunch with Hoshi and Feezie, although I don't know how much cobbler Trip managed to choke down.

Cease Fire

Trip's iced tea does the Shimmy-Shimmy-Shake at lunch at the Cap'n's table. Everyone drinks a toast in the denouement.

Future Tense

Phlox and T'Pol have dinner together for the first time this season; glad to see they've kissed and made up. Temporal tech talk over dinner at the Cap'n's table.

Canamar

Prison rations, twice. Plus Clem babbles about eating live things.

The Crossing

Trip's Hungry Wissssp gorges on an entire Sunday dinner all by himself: fried chicken, salad, Wonder Bread, spaghetti and meatballs with broccoli, a chili dog, orange juice, cranberry juice, some kind of side dish, and I think bread pudding (or it could be a vertical banana split). Phlox and T'Pol scan for possessed crew over lunch. Trip goes for barbecued spareribs even when he's out of his mind.

Judgment

Oatmeal is without honor! Klingon prisoners get haunch of targ sushi as rations! But at least K'Lawyer shared his bloodwine with Archer.

Horizon

Lots of food, which is appropriate for an episode about family. Trav drinks upside-down. Trav has lunch with Mal and a Nutri-Pak with Mom. Cap'n, T'Pol, and Trip do some lit crit over dinner in the Cap'n's Mess. Several people eating popcorn at Movie Night.

The Breach

Rock-climbing rations. Trip mentions the snack bar from his previous cave-in. Mal and Trip both drink from water skins. Phlox pokes at dinner while T'Pol has tea.

Cogenitor

Ice cream sundaes. All kinds of munchies in the Mess Hall. Stilton, Alsatian Muenster, six other cheeses, and fruit. Fragrant Vissian food.

Regeneration

T'Pol has some kind of drink (likely tea) and Archer orders coffee with cream but I don't think he actually consumes any. Hoshi brings munchies for the bat and slugs, and pasta for Phlox of Twelve. The first researcher to get assimilated drinks something out of a thermos.

First Flight

Beer! and bourbon, and bar food.

Bounty

The Tellarite captain has dinner, and rudely doesn't offer Archer anything. T'Pol wolfs down broccoli and asparagus.

The Expanse

Trip and Archer drown their sorrows in bourbon. Archer woolgathers over breakfast.

Season 3

The Xindi

Hoshi and MACOs and cheese. Okay, Hoshi and a bunch of polite soldiers briefly share lunch in the Mess Hall. T'Pol offers Trip tea. Lizzie has some kind of drink with fruit in it in Trip's dream.

Anomaly

Cap'n's coffee gets sucked into Bullet Time Space. Everyone's lunch goes flying to the ceiling when a Tremor Blorp caroms through the Mess Hall. Trip has coffee, probably, and Mal has black tea, hot.

Extinction

T'Pol tries a Georgia peach from Trip's stasis stash. (Our organic Jersey peaches are far juicier.) Captain Caveman and the Prehistoric Philharmonic eat taspar-egg nut grubs, or something. Malcolm murmurs that Chef's food isn't sitting well with him, and Phlox suggests moth larvae.

Rajiin

Impulse

T'Pol drinks water. Chef gets a mention. The crew is reportedly off their feed. Phlox has popcorn in T'Pol's nightmare.

Exile

Count Stalkula replicates pizza, mac and cheese, and a cheeseburger from Hoshi's memory, plus presents an alien spinach cheesecake for dessert.

The Shipment

Friendly Xindi-sloth shares Xindi grog with Cap'n.

Twilight

Dinner at the Cap'ns' (heh) table. T'Pol and Archernesia have breakfast.

North Star

Mostly drinkin' -- coffee, unnamed bottle of rotgut, Skagaran whisky. Skagaran jerky around the campire.

Similitude

Archer has a mostly-full plate in his office but we don't see him eating from it, plus a coffee cup with at least a little coffee left. Phlox has a cuppa something in the Mess Hall. Sim gets a baby bottle, lunch in the Mess Hall (we see the remains, but clearly he ate), and key lime pie. 17-year-old Sim invites T'Pol to dinner.

Carpenter Street

Dejerken has leftover Bachelor Chow scraps on the kitchen table, two cans of beer, cold pizza, root beer, and a burger and fries. Cap'n has a burger. T'Pol doesn't want to end up as T'Persephone, and declines. Porthos gets three or four pieces of cheese while Cap'n's making himself a midnight sammich.

Chosen Realm

Dinner at the Cap'n's table with the Head Zealot. Zealots plot in the Mess Hall among dining crew. Cap'n uses "Don't feed him cheese" as a code phrase to let Phlox know the rumors of his molecular disassembly were greatly exaggerated. Phlox offers the pregnant Zealot some Janaran tea, and promises the Pyrithian bat extra snow beetles for helping him take out the Thug Zealot.

Proving Ground

Mal has coffee ("No tea?" "No, and no crumpets either.") and brings some for Blue Meaness. Trip has a hoagie with ruffled potato chips. Shran and Archer have dinner at the Cap'n's table with Andorian ale. Shran drinks alone -- bad sign.

Stratagem

Cap'n shares a potent potable (could be Andorian ale) with Degra. You know, Hoshi's right; Archer's drinking an awful lot this season.

Harbinger

Trip and Mal have lunch in the Mess Hall. Trip has coffee (strong -- I'm telling you, he's Italian) and T'Pol drinks something in the Mess Hall.

Doctor's Orders

Phlox shares leeches and popcorn with Porthos, cooks and eats some kind of soup which his fifth grandmother was good at (maybe -- could have been a delusion), and feeds his menagerie. Trip is woozy because he hasn't eaten in four days. The entire crew, pretty much, eats in the Mess Hall all at once.

Hatchery

Trip, Malcolm, and Travis discuss the XindiBug TECH over lunch.

Azati Prime

Degra shares a potent potable with two other Degradations. Archer discusses turtle soup and tells Phlox to feed Porthos a little cheese every now and again.

Damage

Phlox and T'Pol have drinks (probably tea) in her quarters. Archer makes a point of leaving food in exchange for the warp coil he steals. (Of course, if the aliens are allergic to Terran food, they're even more up the creek, but we'll just quietly ignore that possibility.)

The Forgotten

The crew has MREs in a battered Mess Hall. T'Pol gets (but doesn't open) a pepperoni pizza. Trip spills his drink (probably coffee).

E²

Tea for two (T'Pols). Hoshi and Trav start to have lunch, but when Mal sits down with them they ditch his bachelor bum. (Jerks. I hope they got lots of acida.)

The Council

Trip and Phlox grab something from the automat. Phlox admits he installed a tapeworm in his gut to lose weight.

Countdown

Dinner at the Cap'n's table, where Trip enthuses over steak and apologizes for not getting the galley fixed up sooner. They plan a trip to the 602 Club for drinks.

Zero Hour

The XindiSnakes share grog and mice. Yich.